If you didn't know better, you might think this post would be about how people who have mental illness are more likely to have tattoos. I mean, haven't studies shown that?
That's some hocus pocus.
I am a heavily tattooed woman. I am also a professional with a doctorate. I prescribe medications. I would like to think that I'm educated -- and that my tattoos do not take away from that. Most days, I forget they are even there.
But apparently, society doesn't forget.
I am reminded when people grab their children away from me. Or when old white people back away from me in an elevator and clutch their purse like I'm about to rob them. Maybe the time that I was told I was satan because I'm tattooed..or that I must be a porn star. Maybe I just got out of jail (this was stated by an in-law)! My favorite, "with all those tatz, you look like you could spank a bear on the ass in the woods."
Yeah. IDK what that means either.
It used to make me sad, because my tattoos are personal to me. I'd look forward to wearing long sleeves in Massachusetts to stop having attention on me. Thankfully in Arizona, it's way more acceptable (weird right, since it's a red state and MA isn't?).
Still, I spent a lot of time hiding my tattoos professionally. I didn't want anyone to know - I don't know why. I guess it was beaten into me from a young age. My parents told me I'd never get a job. My teachers told me to cover up because my presence offended them.
I wasn't too far off. Professionally, female providers with tattoos are perceived by patients as less professional than male providers with tattoos. This probably falls in line with the sexualization of tattooed women -- it must mean if we are tattooed, we are "easy." However, other studies report patients not trusting tattooed providers and having more feelings of discomfort - regardless of age, race or gender.
On that note: fuck what the studies say, you can certainly be heavily tattooed and have an awesome job.
Now, what about tattoos and mental health?!
Tattoos can be an incredible way to heal from so many different things.
Tattoos can be the start of moving forward.
They can serve as a reminder to be strong in hard times. They can serve as a memorial of a lost loved one - so they are always with you. They can represent overcoming a challenge, or a meaningful point in life.
They can cover self-harm scars.
They can cover stretch marks that you have hated and hidden for years.
They can be a way to reclaim your body after someone violates you. To have new skin. Literal new skin, that they have never touched or taken from you.
They can be a way to find yourself after a breakup.
They can be a way to heal from abuse.
Tattoos can represent powerful images that offer us back our bodies -- they allow us to reclaim our skin and potentially rid of pieces of us that remind of us painful times. They may represent growth, change, love, or loss.
There is an entire process behind being tattooed that is also therapeutic. If you are lucky enough to have a freaking awesome tattooer you see regularly, often times that comes with a bond, hours of sitting together and talking.
Through the process, you are forced to focus on the present. It is uncomfortable - sometimes extremely painful depending on the location and length of time you sit for. It allows you to test yourself, to be present in your mind and to learn to practice ways to cope. Sometimes when I'd get into "the zone," I'd be able to process the situations I was going through in my head. Things would just become more clear.
After it's completed, it takes a lot of focus and care to heal correctly. Often times, people who self harm essentially will "nurse" their wound -- sometimes for distraction, sometimes as an outlet. Similarly, when are you tattooed, you 'nurse' your tattoo until it properly heals. You watch it go through a process of becoming ugly, scabby and then turning bright and beautiful again. Your skin heals. You heal. It hurts a lot during that time.
But everything that hurts can heal.
I think that tattoos can be a fantastic way to improve mental health.
They can be a coping skill, something to look forward to and a way to ground you and remind you of your progress.
They help you stop viewing your body as shameful and start to see it as powerful and beautiful.
I look at my body as a map of my life. I can tell you a story behind each one, and I can tell you where I was at during that time. My first tattoo ended up being covered up (a music note) by my sleeve, but I still have my second tattoo. I was eighteen, and just broke up with an abusive boyfriend. I loved the song, "everchanging" by Rise Against because it seemed to encompass all of my feelings about it, so I had it tattooed on my wrist. I have a tattoo for moving across the country and letting go of my old life. I have a tattoo I got with my ex-husband. I have tattoos done by friends who will always mean a lot to me. I had my stomach tattooed after my divorce. I have a nurse tattoo I got upon my graduation, and a tattoo for my cat.
I look at myself and see the last 13 years of myself. It is so cool, and damn, I've grown. Back when I started being tattooed, I lived in a state of hopelessness without a clear future and now I have an education and my own business.
While stigma still exists, sexualization of tattooed women exists, and the fear of not being able to be viewed as "professional" exists.. don't let that stop you if you feel this could be part of your healing journey.
