Ketamine: Grifter's Paradise or Real Benefit?

Ketamine popped up around 2000 after showing significant benefits for depression. It wasn't until about 2010 that clinics started utilizing IV Ketamine off-label for psychiatry, and 2019 when Spravato became FDA approved for treatment resistant depression.

Around 2019 and 2020, we saw a rise in Ketamine clinics pop up across the country. I've always sat on the fence about Ketamine. I heard about the benefits. I have sat through many presentations and lectures on Ketamine and I've read plenty of studies. But a lot of what I saw left me feeling dirty. Like the people selling it were just grifters.

I've had more than enough patients come back from some of these "clinics" reporting negative experiences -- feeling forced or bullied into it and not having results after treatments and spending astronomical amounts of money.

Recently, we started working with Find Your Shine Therapy in our Tempe location to start the process to offer Ketamine at Paperflower Psychiatry. The costs to start up Ketamine are pretty heavy -- buying all of the medical equipment, an AED, rescue equipment and medications, wheelchairs, syringes, medication refrigerators and locked cabinets for medication and supplies.. then hours upon hours went into planning the development of Ketamine and preparing policies prior to having the Health Dept. approve us to begin treatment. That being said, I see why it's expensive now.

It wasn't until I tried it myself that I truly understood it.

I recently completed a training on Ketamine that allowed me to experience it. And I'm so thrilled I had the opportunity, and I honestly plan to continue my own journey into it. I want to answer the questions and set a standard for it before we begin offering it.

Everyone's journey will be different. Some people will have incredible benefits. Some people will feel immediately better. Some people will require multiple treatments to feel better. Others may not feel a benefit or may have a negative experience.

Evidence does find that it can drastically reduce suicidal thoughts in many people. It does not work this way for everyone. But it can be an option worth exploring.

We offer IM Ketamine at Paperflower. This is because it offers the smoothest experience with the fewest risks. IV Ketamine comes with more concerns and risks and because of that - we have opted against it. We currently don't have Spravato but we can prescribe lozenges or trouches.

When I agreed to offer Ketamine, I decided that having therapy or guidance would be required for any patient wanting to utilize this option. Ketamine itself does offer an experience - yes. It can open the brain up for neuron growth -- ways to cement in new pathways and change your actual brain. But if you are not properly doing the therapeutic work during the window of brain growth, you are losing the benefit. You risk having a negative experience and not having a place to discuss what you felt and experienced. How you currently feel. We have Find Your Shine who offer formal KAP therapy, and we have John Greeley from Ouroboros who is able to be present virtually or in person for sessions. He is a life coach that can offer preparation, support during your experience and integration coaching within the following weeks. This is critical to success.

What is the preparation for Ketamine?

John actually personally worked with me to set my intentions for my Ketamine journey and offer descriptions about his own experiences. This helped me to better gauge what I would feel and experience. I didn't feel scared when the time came because I had a general open-mindedness of what to expect. He gave me guidance on the types of intentions I could set, and supported me to set my own goals for treatment.

I had questions like "should I sit up, recline or lay down" and he was helpful in finding what would feel most comfortable and beneficial. I chose to fully lay down to allow complete dissociation.

In retrospect, I wish I worked with him to find a playlist for my experience.

What is it actually like to do Ketamine?

I can only speak for my own experience. We do two injections to keep the experience smooth and without side effects.

A quiet, calm space is critical. I utilized sound canceling headphones because I didn't want music. But I understand that music completely affects your entire experience. Images shift as the music does. I experienced images shifting as cars drove by or if I heard other things. I also utilized a blindfold for comfort.

During my first injection, I felt immediately calm. It was like some lightness took over my body. I still had full control over my body and mind. I began to feel increasingly calm over the next ten minutes. Within minutes of the second injection, I experienced what Ketamine does.

I felt myself fully disconnect from my body. I was not a body at all. I was just my soul moving upward rapidly into space. I was floating, flying, sailing.. moving through clouds, oceans, stars and forests. I experienced many images relevant to my intentions and things that I was unsure about the meaning of. I continued to ask myself if I was watching a movie, if I was the movie, if this was what it was like to die, and if I still even existed. Was it a dream? I tried asking myself some big questions and was met with silence. Which can be interpreted in it's own respect.

Time felt endless and I felt freedom. I felt like it had been hours -- but within 40 minutes, I felt my body again. I felt each one of my teeth. I felt my fingers move. I was aware of the heaviness of gravity after experiencing such lightness. I was aware that my body and the Earth.. my life was still there. But I felt different. I felt lighter and inspired.

Some people report feeling fully disconnected but seeing nothingness. Some people go back to their traumas and can work through things that would have otherwise been incredibly painful. Some people relive moments that were beautiful. Some people have negative and anxiety provoking experiences. It varies. And it is different every single time.

Coming back from dissociation

Having someone present to listen to you when you immediately come back from the dissociation is incredibly important. Notes should be taken or a recording should be done.

I talked about my experience, the imagery, the freedom I experienced and the heaviness I felt coming back into my body. And listening back to the recording is so interesting. John and I listened to the recording together and worked through interpretations.

John was available for me the next several days for reflection and guidance. He offered me support when I had questions, and some mantras and other tips to help maximize the effectiveness of the Ketamine. I truly understood how the "after" is more important than the dissociative event.

Some people feel nauseous or tired after. I didn't experience that, but I did feel euphoria for a few days that was later burdened by the heaviness of responsibilities in my day to day life.

My personal intentions

I have struggled with feeling a lack of freedom in my life - bound to being responsible for everything and everyone around me. Motherhood, especially. Raising two special needs kids is hard and I have no village. I am tired. Ketamine gave me the energy to remove myself from my roles and see myself again. To want to work on myself and give myself grace. To be compassionate to myself. And to find my freedom -- even if that means internally.

Over the next week, I found myself to be less reactive and more present. However, I was very intentional about this. John and I continued to connect and discuss the experience and how I can prioritize myself moving forward. I think the experience alone would have blown my mind but it wouldn't have given me the space to change.

Is this for everyone?

I don't see how you can do IV Ketamine or any type of Ketamine in some clinic in a room full of other people. This is a deeply personal experience that can be easily shifted by things going on around you. This isn't meant to be done sitting at home alone and then move into your daily tasks after like nothing happened.

This cannot be done in a pill mill experience.

This is not for grifters. This is not an experience for everyone. Not everyone should do Ketamine. And it will not help everyone. But it certainly is an option to explore.

If you're interested in having your own experience, I recommend talking to John about it even if you decide to not go through us to have your experience. John is available to support you as a Life Coach with integration after experiencing Ketamine anywhere in the country.