Letting Go of the Things Not Meant for You

There's a quote I've always loved:

“In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.”

I think sometimes it must be human to hate change.

Especially when the change is not in your hands.

That could be in the form of ending a friendship or a relationship. Maybe it's a job, school, an idea or a plan that you've been passionate and excited about. It can be crushing and disappointing when things don't pan out the way you wanted them to.

In my own life, I've planned and replanned things. I've watched myself grow apart from my closest friends, and had to let them go. I've watched my first marriage fall apart, and I had to learn to let that go. I suffered a miscarriage, and I had to accept that it was not the right time to have a child. I've had jobs that I've loved so, so much and planned to stay at, and been let go or put into a position in which I could not stay. I became pregnant at a crucial time in my career which changed everything. There were so many things I've wanted so desperately, and worked so hard for, but they continued to stay out of reach.

When these things happen, I always go back to that quote.

What does it mean if something isn't meant for you?

If you think back on your life, there must have been many endings you've endured before you were ready, and in some way, you changed. In some way, you shaped into the person you are right now.

We all are presented with challenges that I believe are deliberately placed to help us grow.

If a very specific series of events did not unfold to make us change, it is possible that we would just stay complacent. Eternally comfortable. Unmoved. Stagnant.

Often times, the series of events that unfold..really freaking suck.

However, it is when we are pushed out of our comfort zone, vulnerable or forced into difficult situations that we experience the highest levels of growth.

It is when things turn sour, that we need to turn away and find alternatives.

If that means we lose a job that we were attached to, then we are forced to look for something new. We eventually end up somewhere else. At that somewhere else, maybe you will meet the people you were supposed to -- people who will shape you.

Maybe that somewhere else will eventually open more doors. Doors to promotion, self-growth or happiness. To networking, new friends, new pets, new places, new relationships. Doors you would not have imagined existed.

Maybe it will force us to rethink our priorities. To focus more on ourselves, our family, our partner, our spirituality. There is a reason.

It doesn't mean it's easy to let go of things. To not be disappointed.

We might not understand it right now, but someday a reason will emerge.

For right now, that thing has served its purpose in whatever capacity, and it no longer serves us. If we choose to hold on to something that no longer serves us, I've learned we are eventually forced to let go.

Tonight, I'm writing this as a reminder to myself because I need it. In the past two weeks, I have watched opportunities, things I felt incredibly passionate about and that I've worked hard for be taken away from me.

Someday I will be grateful for endings I did not want, as I always have been.

Letting these things end with grace means that I am opening myself to new possibilities that will serve me; they will bring me to the right places, the right people.

I am not exactly religious, but I do believe that the universe provides for us. It has not always been easy, but through suffering, I have always grown.

This is one of those days that I need to remind myself that the universe is so much bigger than us, and I need to have trust in that.